Seven Seas Magazine

April 2003 Issue - Essay # 1

 

Generation Rock

By Susan Major

 



They say your musical tastes don't change after the age of thirty or forty, so I’m fated to be part of a generation of proud, punk-edged rock elders. When I share the stories of my youth, they will be inextricably linked to my life’s soundtrack, steeped in the philosophies of The Smiths, The Jam, and Elvis Costello. How can I accept aging when the twin ghosts of youth and passion still trail me? How should I filter my life through the memory of the music that saved me?  

My Italian grandmother, my Nonnie, loved Lawrence Welk. I would sit cross-legged on her thin brown carpet in front of a boxy TV, mesmerized by a stream of piano, polkas and women in swirling dresses. While Nonnie was busy serving up steaming bowls of pasta, only the daring tried to change the channel. Complaints would ring out from the kitchen in lyrical Italian and the set would immediately be switched back to her favorite show.  

My mother and father told us music-tinged fables from the decades that gave permanent shape to their lives. My mother was a screaming "Bobby Soxer," who worshipped Frank Sinatra. In her old photos, she is fresh-faced and glamorous with a broad smile and a 1940s cascade of dark, wavy hair. My father grew up with Neapolitan ballads sung to him at bedtime. He loved opera, Jerry Vale and Mario Lanza. He embarrassed us by singing everywhere: in the car, at family gatherings--along with spontaneous outbursts in public. He met my mother at a dance, big band music sparking their turbulent, life-long marriage.  

The images from my childhood shimmer and blink in memory; the sounds fall in and out. Ed Sullivan on our old TV, my father snorting when he saw the Beatles, pronouncing: "They'll never last." My sister and I felt an excitement that erupted as squeals of delight. We were awestruck by such shockingly long hair, so dangerously different from the close-cropped heads of my father and brother. Suddenly, we were blindingly aware that we understood something our father would never comprehend. The power of rock'n'roll music burst forth for us in that moment with unrestrained velocity.  

Life sped up to schoolyard pop and the green plaid skirt of a Catholic school uniform. In my group of friends it was crucial to declare your favorite member of The Monkees. We met in the shade of a brick wall at lunchtime, calling ourselves by secret names: Mickey, Davy, Peter or Mike. In a break from the group, I tacked a picture of Paul Revere and The Raiders on my bedroom wall.  

My parents bought me scratchy 45’s that spun on a suitcase record player. I earned the privilege of using their cabinet hi-fi and records by solemnly promising to treat them with something close to religious reverence. I sang along to everything, and danced when I was sure no one was watching.  

My older sister drifted away to Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones and The Lovin’ Spoonful. My brother went Motown and the house rang with Aretha, The Supremes and The Four Tops. One summer my worried mother kept vigil by the phone when he followed mysterious new musical urges all the way to New York--to some place called Woodstock. I welcomed him back like a conquering hero, eager to hear his stories of rain-soaked musical history.  

My high school music of Elton John and Alice Cooper gave way to college in snowy Vermont. Away from home for the first time, cold, scared and free, I spent hours on hard benches in the gymnasium watching old blues players. I danced on battered movie seats to up-and-coming rockers in downtown auditoriums, or clutched a cheap draft beer while bar bands cranked out covers of the hits. My ears were eager, open, in pursuit of music that could pull what I felt inside to the surface. If you liked the same music we became instant allies, because something in the center of you knew the language that spoke to me.  

Flash forward to my twenties in New York City. I discovered new bands inside CBGBs, the Mudd Club, Max’s, and The Bottom Line. I saw The Clash on Broadway and Elvis Costello, drinking gin in a hotel bar. When my night job ended, I would stop in a crowded cafe everyone swore was owned by the mob. One night, all eyes turned in sync to watch the Ramones swagger by in black leather jackets.  

I crashed VIP seating at The Ritz when Squeeze played, and Southside Johnny grabbed my arm as I stumbled down a staircase, keeping me upright as I skated on puddles of spilled beer and maneuvered past broken bottles. In my shoebox apartment in Chelsea, a nightmare of murder disturbed my sleep. Just buildings away, the romance of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungeon lurched toward its painful conclusion.  

Where do the songs reside? In my brain? In my heart? I’m hardwired for the music that made me dance in my bedroom, or daydream a new existence when I wanted to be anywhere on earth that wasn’t the back seat of my parents’ car.  

Strip away the layers of wisdom. Peel away the thick skin of jaded maturity. Take a core sample from deep within my bones. The music is locked in like a dominant trait, as resolute as nature, as eager and persistent to be passed on as DNA.  

When my own child pushed into the world, she sported a thick crop of bright, red-orange hair that stood straight up. "Look," I told the nurse, "she looks like Johnny Rotten's baby."  

The nurse hesitated, confused. The Sex Pistols’ reference meant nothing to her. She smiled, said nothing, and tied a bow in my newborn's hair.  

My daughter grew up with Morrissey’s voice in her ear as The Smiths sang her lullabies and The Clash provided dinner music. She says it’s a great gift I have given her, this music that has taken root somewhere inside and become entwined with her very essence. She furiously scribbles poetry and her graceful fingers dance across a computer keyboard that clatters with emerging lyrics for songs as yet unwritten. On her 15th birthday we saw U2 in concert and the night was seared forever in her heart and head. One day she strapped on a bright blue electric guitar and asked: "How would you feel if I started a band?"  

And so, the next generation hears London Calling and feels the storm that gathers inside. My years roar past me; I sway gently in their wake, seventeen in my heart. My aging body is merely a cruel joke already told and best forgotten.  

I will become an old woman with a punk snarl, sharp elbows and edgy tales. I will slip whiskey into my tea, eat cookies for dinner, and tell anyone who will listen about the last band that really mattered. I have so many stories to share.  

The first one begins, “You are never too old...”    

 

 

Author's Biography

Susan Major lives in Salem, Massachusetts

She is a full-time freelance copywriter with her own business, Major Developments. She is working diligently toward her ultimate career goal of wealthy eccentric.

E-mail Susan at smajor2000@cswebmail.com

 

 

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