I
woke up because my toes were numb. Instinctively, I reached for Heidi,
my eyes still closed, my mind still on sleep. I felt for her two-foot
frame and found it, half in and half out of the covers, and pulled. Her
shoulders were ice.
I
prodded my husband, who was nestled in and around the only blanket.
“We
need a fire,” I told him. I could feel the steam coming from my mouth
as I spoke. He didn’t wake up.
As I sidled around him to get out of bed, shivering and cursing, I swore
I couldn’t take it anymore. We weren’t camping. We weren’t even
outside. This was just a typical winter’s morning in our rural
Kentucky home. If I was lucky the old wood and coal stove would still
have some embers floating atop the ashes. It then became only a matter
of stirring some air through the stove to create fuel for the fire that
remained. On a bad night there was nothing left but a smidge of warmth
and a nose full of dust.
Before entering the steamy, fume-saturated air of
Eastern Kentucky, I'd never heard of a wood stove. That
changed the first winter after I got married, when my mother-in-law
asked if we’d cleaned the flue in preparation for the first big cold
spell. Accustomed to warm gas heat, at first I found the heat from the
wood and coal stove wonderful. On cold nights, Gene would stoke the fire
up so hot that the stove would turn red, I’d peel off my sweater and
jeans and jump into shorts and a t-shirt and stand in front of the
window to cool off. It was a great feeling. But it didn’t last, and
slowly, deliberately, the shorts would be traded for sweat pants, the
t-shirt for a sweatshirt, and I’d be shoving more wood in the stove in
the hopes of retrieving that Florida
environment.
Gene
doesn’t keep a great fire. He can blame some of it on the cracks
scattered along the top of the house, more of it on the places in
between the wall the front door where we had to replace the door mom and
dad decided to use on their trailer. But, it doesn’t change the fact
that he just does not have the country touch. He’s a city kid born
into a country body, I tend to think. He would rather have a desk job
than to work outside, and he’d rather cuddle in the electric blanket
than have to chop a block of coal.
My
husband isn’t the onlycountry boy turned executive. The world is
changing too fast around them for the hillbillies to remain sheltered in
their ’hollers’, surrounded by family and tradition. Technology
has taken over and, as a result, the essence of rural existence--to grow
up fast, strict and pure--is being overtaken by the need to expand.
There are some, like my brother-in-law, who try their best to hold onto
the existence country folk around here have known for two hundred years.
He works the same job his father works, plants his crops religiously in
the spring, treats his kids like miniature adults. His children, though,
are well-behaved and quiet.
My
nephew, at barely one-and-a-half, stands silently next to his mother, a
picture of lovely serenity on his face as if, in his short life, he’d
already found the meaning of life. I guess the word I’d use to
describe him to strangers would be ‘over-mature.’ He doesn’t run
around and climb everything in sight and get into everything he's not
allowed into, like the typical toddler, my own being a perfect example.
Though the babies are only three months apart, there seems a much wider
gap. While Heidi is climbing onto the couch, the highchair, the table
and two chairs at once, CJ remains behind, sitting alongside his sister
with a smirk on his face.
CJ’s
parents claim that this level of maturity is a good thing. Not only did
they refuse to give him a pacifier as an infant, they also refused him
the bottle, the bibs, the highchair, the sippy cups, and every other
instrument that makes infancy fun. His first day home they fed him table
food. I keep expecting to go for a visit and find him eating steak with
a knife and fork.
The
positives of growing up fast: CJ will know how to safely shoot a gun by
the time he’s eight, and he’ll always be the hard worker, the
conformist, the one happy after a long day’s work. On the negative
side, he’ll start smoking or chewing before he's ten, and dad’s
liquor cabinet will be raided in between chores. He’ll probably
be a farmer, a laborer, or disabled by the time he’s eighteen, the
three largest professions in these parts, though in today’s economy
most find farming too difficult and try instead to be one of the lucky
folks getting unemployment or SSI.
The
country will always be the country. There will always be people who work
as farmers (the world wouldn’t survive without them), boxed houses
that are made of rough lumber , and people who think tradition is more
important than money. But we’ve moved on, my husband and me, dragging
Heidi behind us kicking and screaming. We left the smothering air and
the even more enveloping way of life. The country life is a good one, if
you’re suited for it. It is full of people who are family-oriented,
laid back and animated. But like the wood and coal stoves that heat the
little boxed houses made of rough lumber, the country appeal only lasts
so long before you’re shoving more and more into the fire, and getting
nothing back but a smidge of warmth and a nose full of dust.