Seven Seas Magazine

June 2002 Issue - Essay # 8

 

Fear and Freedom:
One Year Later

By Kristin Dreyer Kramer

 

 

Like every other American, I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard about last year’s World Trade Center attack.  I was in my car, driving down Route 401 in Toronto, heading back home to Michigan after a long weekend visit with my fiancé. The morning radio show interrupted its typical morning antics to make the announcement.  

Like every other American, I can remember that flood of emotion that overtook me, there on Route 401. I remember the disbelief. The shock. I remember the tears that began to well up and flow down my cheeks as my whole body shook.   

I remember picturing the World Trade Center--all those people. It wasn’t hard. I had just been there three weeks earlier. I had sipped a gin and tonic in the bar at the very top--just three weeks earlier. I had spent a long weekend taking the train in and out of the WTC station --just three weeks earlier. Just three weeks earlier, and I would have been there.  

I remember reaching for my cell phone. I tried calling my family and friends back home, but I couldn’t get through. I called my fiancé in a panic. And as the morning radio show went back to its antics, I scanned the dial, searching for some kind of news.  

Since that moment, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned about fear--and about freedom.  

It took me an hour, mindlessly cruising down the 401, until reality struck me, and I knew that the US-Canadian border would be closed by the time I tried to cross it. I knew I wouldn’t be getting home any time soon. So I turned around and drove back to my fiancé’s apartment. I spent the afternoon sitting in the dark, watching the horrible event over and over.  

As everyone around me resumed life-as-usual, I couldn’t help but feel that my freedom had been stolen from me. I wasn’t in danger--not at all. But I suddenly realized that no matter how comfortable I felt in Canada, no matter how many times I’d crossed the border without too much thought, it was still a foreign country. And I couldn’t go home. I wasn’t free to go home. At that moment, all I wanted was to join in with the flag-wavers back home, but I couldn’t.  

In the year since, so much has changed. While, for the most part, life for the everyday American has gone back to normal, something inside us has changed. The wreckage has been cleared. The books have been written. The monuments are being erected. The initial nation-wide banding together has fizzled.  Yet the strength we gained through the experience isn’t fading.  

Slowly, we’ve regained our confidence.  We’ve gradually begun to let go of the fear.  The rumors of possible bombings of bridges and shopping malls and tall buildings and airplanes no longer shut down our lives the way they once did.   

I’ve flown internationally three times since September 11.  In fact, I was in the air when the bombing started on the morning of October 7.  I’m not afraid to fly, nor am I naïve enough to think that the new security measures everyone’s taking can really prevent another incident. I’ve been subjected to the occasional airport-security pat-down, and I’ve been asked to remove my shoes so they could be checked.  I’ve eaten all of my meals with plastic cutlery.  Still, recently my friend unintentionally flew across the country (and back) with a pocketknife in her carry-on--and was never detained.  My husband has been slowly making his way through the security checks required to get his Green Card, yet I know that the INS recently accepted the visa applications of some of the World Trade Center terrorists.  

But I don’t live my life in fear.     

September 11 was a wake-up call for all of us. It was a reality check. It reminded us that we’re not invincible, and our country isn’t impenetrable.  It taught our government leaders that they really do need to pay attention to what’s going on around them.  And, at the same time, it reminded us that we’re still one nation. No matter how many different ideas we have or who agrees with whom--we’re still the United States of America. Sometimes, we have to set aside our differences and work side-by-side.  

Every generation of Americans, I heard after September 11, needs its own war. Each generation needs a wake-up call.  We tend to take our country for granted until something happens to remind us of how important our county and its leaders are to us.  I guess we needed to have our freedoms taken away from us for a while before we could understand just how great they really are.  

 

 

Author's Biography

Kristin Dreyer Kramer is a freelance writer whose words can be found online and in print in a number of publications around the world.  

Once an advertising copywriter, Kristin is now a new wife, a new resident of Massachusetts, and the editor-in-chief of NightsAndWeekends.com. She can be reached at krdrkr@hotmail.com.

 

 

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